I’m glad you stopped by.
I don’t know if you have any experience in recording, but those who have recorded an album or a song, or anyone who have worked on a product which included creative decisionmaking might know how frustrating it can be, when you suddenly loose your vision or find yourself lost in the creative process.
This happened to me yesterday. I had had a strong and good feeling about where the songs were heading, but during yesterday’s recordings of guitar and vocals I began to doubt that feeling.
The last couple of months many people have said many different things on the subject “what kind of record Hymns from Nineveh should make”. I have listened and learnt a lot about people’s expectations and I am truly grateful to those people, but I also find it harder and harder, actually, to destill my own thoughts on the subject, to hear my own voice in the choir of voices.
This feeling is complicated by the fact, that, and this I have discovered in the last couple of months, my songs can wear different “clothing”. They can be played with many different instrumentations, they can have different arrangements, each note in the melody can be delivered in many different ways – without the songs lose their core identity. Or can they? Can they maintain their core identity? And what do you do, when you suddenly have to cut through all the different ways of delivering the songs and decide to stick to one? You have to choose. And hope that the choice is right.
So – I was overwhelmed by choices and voices yesterday and I got confused. I admit that I’m a bit of a dramaqueen in such situations. And when I this morning listened to the things we made yesterday, it wasn’t so bad after all. It was good, actually.
Maybe the experience of doubt and failure can be constructive, I hope so, but when you are in the center of it, it makes decisionmaking – and choosing – difficult.